How to Keep Track of Your Friends' Birthdays
In many families, someone keeps the birthday list. With friends, nobody does: the dates are scattered across apps, group chats and your memory. Here is how to gather them once and get reminded in time.
The short answer
Gather your closest friends' birthdays once, keep them in one list that reminds you, and set the reminder the day before for a message or a week before for a card. Facebook shows only the birthdays friends choose to share, and Instagram doesn't show friends' birthdays at all, so for most friends the quickest way is to ask. Your phone's contacts can hold the list for free. Greetigo emails you the day before each one with a message ready, free for up to 10 saved dates.
Why friends' birthdays slip
- Nobody keeps the list for you. With family, a parent often remembers everyone's. With friends, it's up to you.
- The dates are scattered: one on Facebook, one in a group chat, one you only know because you went to the party.
- Apps show only what friends share. A friend who keeps their birthday private never shows up in a list.
- Friends you see less often are the easiest to miss, and a birthday message is one of the simplest ways to stay in touch with them.
Find the dates you don't have
Look in these places, in this order:
- Your phone's contacts: a birthday may already be on their card.
- Facebook: From your Facebook Feed, select Friends in the left menu, then Birthdays. You'll see today's, recent and upcoming birthdays, but only for friends who share the day and month of theirs. If its birthday notifications stopped, see why Facebook birthday notifications stop showing.
- Instagram: you won't find friends' birthdays there. Instagram's help center says the birthday on your account isn't shared with other people on Instagram.
- Snapchat: only friends who have turned on Birthday Party show theirs: a cake by their name in your chats on the day, and their profile may show the date.
- Your messages: search a chat for "happy birthday". The day someone wrote it last year is probably the birthday.
- Ask: the quickest way for everyone else, and one message does it. Here's how to ask someone for their birthday without it feeling awkward.
Keep them all in one list
Pick one place and move every friend's birthday into it:
- Your phone's contacts and calendar: free, and a birthday saved on a contact can remind you every year. Steps: on iPhone or on Android.
- A group of friends: if you're all in a WhatsApp group, agree on one person who keeps the list. See birthday reminders for WhatsApp.
- Birthdays you only see on Facebook: copy the ones that matter somewhere you control. See how to remember birthdays without Facebook.
Start with the five to ten friends you'd hate to miss. Add the rest as you learn their dates.
Choose when to be reminded
- The day before: enough for a message, a call or a voice note. Write it then, and you can schedule the text for the morning.
- A week before: for a card by post. Here's when to mail a birthday card so it arrives on the day.
- Two weeks before: for a gift that ships, or a plan to meet up.
For your closest friends, two reminders work well: one to plan, one to write.
A reminder by email, with the message ready
Greetigo is one option. Save a friend's birthday once and it repeats every year. Greetigo emails you in the morning, your time: the day before by default, or on the day, or 1, 3, 7 or 14 days before, and you can pick more than one.
Each reminder comes with a message already written: a free template with their name, or on Plus and Premium the AI-written draft you saved for that date. On your phone, open the reminder and tap Copy message, or Share… to open your phone's share sheet and pick the app you and that friend use. If you saved their email address, you can send it from Greetigo instead. Nothing is sent until you click Send.
It's free for up to 10 saved dates, and Premium has no limit. Greetigo doesn't connect to Facebook or Instagram, so you add each friend's date yourself: by hand, from a pasted list, or from a contacts file. It works in any browser, including your phone's. There's no iPhone or Android app, and reminders come by email, not as phone notifications or texts.
If you already missed one
Send something today: "I missed your birthday and I'm sorry. Happy belated birthday. Coffee this week?" is enough. More words: forgot your best friend's birthday and belated birthday wishes. For next time: birthday wishes for a best friend.