Forgot Your Sister's or Brother's Birthday? What to Say
Siblings often say they don't mind. Many do, a little. Say it today, in the way you two usually talk, and plan something together.
Save their birthday and Greetigo emails you the day before next year's.
Today: say it the way you two talk
With a brother or sister, the right tone is usually the one you already use. Teasing is fine if that's your normal, as long as the apology is real:
- "Happy birthday! I missed it, and I'm sorry. No excuse. Let me buy you dinner this week."
- "I owe you a birthday. Sorry I'm late. Happy birthday from your forgetful sibling."
- "Happy belated birthday. I lost track of the date, and I feel bad about it. How did you celebrate?"
A call or a voice note says the most; a text is fine if that's how you two talk. If a parent usually reminds you about family birthdays, this is a good moment to ask them for the list.
If you're not close right now
If things have been distant or tense, keep it short and kind. "Happy birthday. I was thinking of you today" leaves the door open without asking anything of them.
Messages for a sister or a brother
"Happy belated birthday, sis. I missed the day and I'm sorry. You remember everyone's birthday, so I know I owe you. Lunch this week, my treat?"
"Sorry I missed your birthday! Happy birthday, sis. Love you. Call you tonight?"
"Happy belated birthday. I lost track of the date, and that's on me. Let me get the first round this weekend."
"Missed your birthday. Sorry about that. Happy birthday, and dinner's on me."
"Happy birthday from your sibling, who is clearly not the favorite after this. Sorry I'm late. Cake is on its way."
"I'm sorry I missed your birthday. You've known me longer than almost anyone, and I don't say often enough how glad I am that we're family. I hope this year is a good one."
"Happy belated birthday. I know we haven't talked much lately. I was thinking of you and wanted you to know."
Make it up the sibling way
- Plan something you used to do together: a favorite takeout, a game, a walk where you grew up.
- Send a photo from when you were kids. It says more than a long apology.
- If they have kids, call when they're all together, or send the family something small.
Get the family's dates in one place
Forgetting a sibling's birthday is often a sign that the family's dates live in someone else's head, usually a parent's. Ask for the list once: brothers and sisters, their partners, nieces and nephews, your parents' anniversary. Then keep it where you'll see it. Our guide to keeping track of family birthdays walks through it.
Frequently asked questions
Is it a big deal to forget a sibling's birthday?
What if Mom or Dad usually reminds me?
Should I post on social media to make up for it?
So next year is different
Save your sibling's birthday, and the dates around it (their partner's birthday, their kids' birthdays, their anniversary), in one place that reminds you early enough to act: your phone's calendar, a recurring reminder, or a reminder app.
Greetigo is one option. It emails you the day before (or on the days you choose) with a message already written. You review it, then send it or copy it into a text. It's free for up to 10 saved dates.
For next time: birthday wishes for your sister or your brother. Forgot a parent's birthday too? See what to say to Mom or Dad.